I feel so detached from anyone around me... especially my class... It's like, I'm juz a stranger to them. Why's it that I cannot associate well with my frens... Everytime I see my classmates in groups and gangs, I feel so left out. They have all the fun together, chat together, laugh together. It's always me... always me having to squeeze into their conversation corner, why isnt it the other way round?? Why isn't there anyone who's willing to strike a conversation wif me... Dull?? Boring?? What do u ppl take me for?? A clown?? I juz need someone to understand me... not someone who can entertain u... Is that why no one's accepting me??

You noe how bad izit that no one related to u at all in a class everyday?? Can you imagine having to rot ur life away in school becuz no one even noe u exist in the first place!? If I dun say a word or even try to make myself present and living in front of them, I believe none of them will noe bout my existence... I dun blame all of them for thinking that way since I'm a little anti-social in that I seldom give comments in their conversation. Not that I dun wanna say a thing, it's that everyone gives me the impression that I'm saying something that's redundant! Everyone can have so much laugher and joy teasing here and there with every sentences they make, but everything stops like winter has arrived whenever I butt in. Am I that BAD in humour!? It's times like this THAT I FEEL I SHOULDNT BE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE! AND HERE AS IN THE WORLD, NOT THE CLASS!

Why is everyone avoiding me!? Am I that detestable?? that unreputable?? or that untolerable!? Can someone give me a reason??

Am I born a loner?? Am I born a soloist?? I juz wan someone to understand and have a realli good chat wif me, not those kiddy and non-sensical ones that'll only cause everyone to grin from ear to ear or laugh all their lungs out sort of conversation.

What I realli want... is some presence of revolution around me, and not everytime me having to blend into them! Don't I deserve a bit of attention!? Must I realli act like a dumb clown juz to seek attention like how other lonely kids been wrecking havoc and troubles in school for attention!?

Juz that little concern... a small gesture of care and concern... it does melt my heart... it does move my spirit... juz a little understanding, care and concern from anyone at all... it means everything to me...