These days I keep getting quite restless.. many thoughts started appearing in my mind... The past.. the memories... schooling.. playing.. my familes, frens, schoolmates... then the sudden realisation tt I'm already 19.. tt my A's are over already.. tt I've already served nearly a year in NS... tt I'm goin into Uni.. tt frens I've made has been wif me for so long... yet it doesnt realli feel THAT long.. the strange feeling.. tt it'll last longer... or perhaps tt gatherings will get less occasional.. and frenship, this term, may get less familiar wif many of my old frens... saddens me.

Then.. there's always this "me" who wanna get out of my camp as soon as I book in... yet dun wanna be out of tt camp when it's time to be... the feeling of wasting weekends at home without anyone for company.. I rather stay in camp and get a day off... to be used on the day I can spend wif somebody..

Most importantly, I always dread goin back on sunday nite when we had such lovely fri or sat gatherings together... tt memories we had juz a day or 2 before sunday totally plunges my morale to the lowest whenever I find myself walking back to camp... sometimes I feel I shouldn't have gone for gatherings.. then I wouldn't feel so sad have to book in... yet I'm always so eager to meet up wif them... and many... wat an dilemma i face so many times already...

I don't know wat i can do.. or wat i'm realli thinking bout... and I don't know why I'm writing this all on my blog tt's abandoned so long ago... Maybe I juz wanna record this emo part of me down here like wat i've always done b4.. hoping to forcefully put an end to neverending thoughts... even if it's temporarily...

I need some peace.